I’m sure any man who spends a significant amount of time masturbating has at least entertained the idea of masturbation-enhancing toys. Women have hundreds of different types of vibrators and dildos, why should we be stuck with our stupid hands! The fleshlight, a fleshy vaguely-flashlight-shaped orifice you can stick your dick in, came out a few years ago, and I guess that was progress. But now we’re in the future. Check this shit out.
You plug it into the wall and the USB port on your computer, and the conveyor belts inside the thing move in sync with realtouch-enhanced pornography.
I don’t know. I don’t really want to stick my dick inside anything with “dual belt drives.” The anti-DRM crowd may not like this device for other reasons, as it requires an online activation.
4 Comments
Good to know that this countries finest engineers are hard at working building things we can stick our dicks in
Demand drives innovation, Adam.
Anyway the sales pitch on the site is great. I’ve never heard someone talk about “fucking tight ass” so professionally.
Yeah exactly. I watched every introductory video on the site featuring her for that exact reason.
step 1- gallon milk jug of spit (not snot) collected from random women of time. that way wham its organic.
step 2- 2 suction straw mechanism much like a trigger for a bottle of windex or spray. 2 triggers. one trigger connected to a silicone tongue in a tube when squeezed/altered the tongue moves round and round somehow. the other trigger keeps everything slobbery.
so you would be making fists and getting a nice bj. throw in a foot pedal to some silicone grip hands and yippee handjob too.
I want 700 million dollars in expired worthless currency (hitler money, old dinars,etc..)for my lazy brilliance.