Movies 9/23/08 – Awake; Redbelt; War, Inc.

Normally I’d just post this type of thing on the forums’ movie thread, but I figured I’ve got a blog I might as well use it.

Jessica Alba is pretty attractive

Awake has a premise that seems interesting but they just use it as a backdrop for a mediocre thriller.  The premise is that a small percentage of people are paralyzed but still conscious when they are given anesthetic for surgery, so they stay "awake" for the whole surgery.  In the movie the guy getting a heart transplant stays awake to hear the doctors expositing their plan to kill him during surgery (by injecting his new heart with some killing-dudes stuff) so that his wife (who is working with the doctors) will get his hundreds of millions of dollars and they’ll all be rich.  Whoops I just spoiled the “twist,” but don’t worry it’s irrelevant.  I think the writer forgot that you have to give a shit about the story before a plot twist means anything.

I’d say the best part of the movie is Anakin Skywalker (aka Hayden Christensen)’s humorously bad acting.  Especially when he’s getting his ribs spread open, it’s on par with the “NOOOOOOOOOO” from Star Wars.  I think he literally says “Oww.  owww. ouch.”  Speaking of bad actors, Terrence Howard sucks.  He’s not as bad as Anakin but he picks the most boring characters and he has the same low-key delivery in every movie.  He’s also under the mistaken impression that he can sing and that people want to hear him sing.  Like his acting, it’s not that bad it’s just kind of a “why are you doing this?” type thing.

The movie ends with some ridiculous crap where Anakin’s mom figures out what’s going on because she looked through the wife’s purse and found an envelope from a nursing school.  I don’t know.  Anyway so she calls this other doctor she knows, then kills herself so that Anakin can have her heart.  But before they move the heart over, Anakin and his mom are talking to each other in we’re-both-dead land, and Anakin’s mom forces Anakin to remember that she killed his father right in front of Anakin when he was a small boy.  Which for some reason makes Anakin want to live again and thus the heart transplant is a success.  Hooray.

redbelt

Redbelt is a David Mamet movie, which means it’s full of theater-performance supporting actors with fake-sounding dialog and the story involves an overly complicated conspiracy to screw somebody over.  Chiwetel Ejiofor is the main reason the movie is not completely worthless.  He’s really likable in everything I’ve seen him in.  Like the anti-Terrence-Howard.  You might know him as The Operative from Serenity, or the black leader guy from Children of Men.  His character here is kind of one dimensional, but it sort of makes sense because he’s a Jiu-Jitsu instructor and I imagine those guys have a pretty one dimensional outlook on life.

The real problem in the movie is the plot.  It totally falls apart and loses all coherency in the last third, but even from the beginning there’s a lot of holes and obvious set-ups.  I still have no idea why his attorney slapped him in the parking garage, or why he had to fight his way back to the ring, or why the old dude gave him the red belt at the very end.  Or why Tim Allen was in this movie.

warinc

War, Inc. is a screwball comedy masquerading as a political satire.  Pretty similar to Idiocracy in some ways, but less obnoxious.  They both carry a message that’s a little too obvious and heavy-handed, which probably would be ok if they were really funny movies.  But they’re not.  War, Inc. is a slightly humorous movie.  There are ideas that seem funny but actually aren’t so much in practice.  Like tanks with Golden Palace ads on them.  Ok… should I be laughing when I see that, or is it just supposed to elicit a kind of “oh.  that’s cute.” reaction?  That’s how most of the movie goes.  There are a couple genuinely funny moments, and John Cusack and Marisa Tomei are pretty likable actors which helps carry the movie.  Also I just found out on IMDb that the whoreish pop star was played by Hilary Duff.  That’s surprising, she was good then.  This movie didn’t really suck, it was just ok.

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